As long as you need me
by occulte
Summary: Spoilers involved. Akkarin's death has effected Sonea a lot but no one knows it. While studying for her upcoming Healing exams she hears a voice call out to her.
1. A New Life

**Author's note: I just love Black Magician's Trilogy so I couldn't help myself. This is my first ever fanfic so be nice.**

**Unfortunately I do not own any of the characters mentioned in **

**the fan fiction. They belong to Trudi Canavan.**

Chapter 1: A New Life

By Occulte

Summary: **Spoilers involved** You have been warned. Is a new life possible for

Sonea after all she's been through. A voice calls to her while she is reading. Who could it be?

_In a new room at a corner of the guild, sat Sonea. The room wasn't hers and never would be. It was just a room provided by the Guild so that they could monitor her. Just in case she might get power hungry one day. _

_After Akkarin's death people would constantly come up to her and tell her how strong she was. And not just in terms of power but also emotionally. After all, how many people could say that they had lost their one and only love and still bother living. But what these people didn't know was that she was only human and that each day, her heart was dying, little by little. She remained strong only for the sake of her child, Akkarin's child. _

_Sonea sat at her desk, reading a book on Healing as she was going to take her final exam in a week's time. With Dorrien and Lady Vinara's help, she had been studying Healing while at the same time helping out those who lived in the slums. _

"Sonea...Sonea..."echoed a voice. _Sonea turned to look around expecting to find Dorrien playing a trick on her. But she couldn't sense anyone, not anyone of physical form anyway._ "I must be going mad." thought Sonea to herself.

"Sonea...Sonea..." echoed the voice again.

"Who are you? Show yourself." Sonea said.

"I'm Akkarin..."

"Impossible! Whoever you are it isn't very nice to play tricks on me like that."

"Put on your ring."

_Sonea reached out for the ring at the end of her desk Putting it on she could sense a presence. An unearthly presence._

"Now can you hear me?"

"Akkarin? Can it really be you?" cried Sonea while starting to cry.

"Yes it's me. I don't quite understand it either but it has something to do with the blood gems. Now can you please stop crying?"

Sniff Sniff

"That's better. Now lets get to the bottom of this. I say we start looking through the books on black magic."

"But those are locked up and only the higher magicians can look at them."

"Just tell them that you need to do some research on an aspect of black magic that you weren't very sure of."

"I still can't believe this but as you wish. Do you mind if I take Takan with me?"

"No, it's good that you take him. He will make your search much faster."

_Saying this Akkarin's voice fades out._

"I still can't believe this. Maybe I'm just going mad but there can't be any harm in taking a look at the books."

_Saying this Sonea slowly walks out of the room in search of Takan._


	2. Obtaining Permission

**Author's Note:Pls R&R...even if it's the worst fanfic you've read.**

**Yet again I still don't own anything**

Chapter 2: Obtaining Permission

By Occulte

Summary: Shocked yet happy that she can communicate with Akkarin, Sonea seeks out the forbidden books on black magic to better understand her situation.

_As Sonea stepped out into the corridor, she felt a sudden chill. Like there would be a turn of events in the time to come. But as long as she had Akkarin by her side, she was ready to face anything even a war._

_Sonea slowly made her way to Takan's room. As he had lived for so many years with the Ichani who had blood gems, maybe he had an idea of what was happening to her._

_She slowly opened Takan's door, seeing him looking at a book. Upon closer observation she realized that he was pondering the use of herbs to improve his cooking._

'I think your cooking is perfect enough without the use of herbs.'

'You startled me my Lady, I thank you for your compliments but nothing is ever perfect so I wish to further improve my cooking.' replied a startled Takan.

'But would I be right if I guessed that there is a more important subject for us to discuss and not my cooking?'

'You know me too well' said Sonea with a laugh.

'The reason I'm here is to ask you in all your years with the Ichani, what can you tell me about blood gems?'

'Ah, my Lady wishes to know more about the blood gems. Alas, my knowledge is only limited to what Akkarin has told me.

'I'm sorry to hear that as I had hoped that you could tell me whether there were other properties of the blood gem that I didn't know.'

'Perhaps the books that Akkarin had kept would be of help?'

'Yes, perhaps they would.'

_Sonea left the room, pondering Takan's words. She made her way to Rothen's room, after all that has happened; Rothen had greatly helped her create her new life. Maybe he could obtain permission for her to go through the books on black magic._

_Knock_

'Yes?' said Rothen as he made his way to open the door.

'It's me, Sonea.'

'Sonea, what can I do for you or are you just here for a friendly chat?'

'Actually I was wondering whether I could go through the books that Akkarin found.'

'The one's on black magic?'

'Yes, I wish to know more about the blood gems.' replied Sonea

'It will take some persuading but I'll see what I can do.'

'Thank you.'

_As Sonea was leaving the room..._

'Don't worry, the Higher Magicians will let you use the books'

'Akkarin, can you please give some sort of sign before you start talking to me as it is quite scary to hear a voice out of nowhere.'

'Ok, you'll start hearing winds blow if I want my presence known.'

'Alright then.'

_Later that night._

'Sonea, the Higher Magicians have allowed you access to the books but as long as you bring someone else to look over it with you.' Said Rothen to Sonea as they were eating dinner in his room.

'Fine, I'll bring Takan seeing as he lived in a place that practiced black magic.'

'When do you wish to use the books as arrangements have to be made.'

'Is tomorrow morning ok?' said Sonea.

'Sure, please come see me to obtain the key to the room that holds the books.'

_Suddenly Sonea heard wind blowing._

'_Ah, that must be Akkarin.' thought Sonea to herself._

'That was a delicious dinner. But I'm afraid I must excuse myself as I'm feeling a tired.'

'Of course, I'm sure the baby must be tiring you.'

_When Sonea was back in her room._

'You had better get some rest as a long day of searching is ahead of us.' said Akkarin.

'Sure.'

_Sonea slept peacefully for the first time since Akkarin's death knowing that she could still talk to her beloved._


	3. Knowledge Discovered

**Author's note:I hope I'm improving as the story goes on. Pls leave any comments be they good or bad. How I wish I owned the Black Magician Trilogy.**

Chapter 3: Knowledge Discovered

By Occulte

_It was early when Sonea awoke, early enough to hear the first chirps of the birds. She awoke with joyous heart. Knowing that Akkarin was there and even though she couldn't see him, he could see her. They could communicate and that was all that mattered. As she was putting on her robe, she thought back to when Akkarin had died and how hard life had been. But thankfully with Dorrien she managed to get through each day. She decided to visit Dorrien at the Outer Wall clinic after she had gone through the black magic books as she hadn't spoken to him for quite sometime as she had been preparing for her Healer exams. _

_At that moment there was a knock on the door._

'Yes?' said Sonea.

'It is I, Lady Vinara.'

_Sonea quickly went to the door and opened it for one of her two mentors._

'I heard that you were going to go through the balck magic books for more information on blood gems.' said Lady Vinara.

'Yes. I would like to know more about the abilities of the blood gems.'

'I have no objections but please remember that your Healer exams are coming and if you want to help Dorrien at the Outer Wall you have to pass them with flying colours.'

'Of course I will not neglect my studies.'

'Very well then. Then I must take my leave as there is a patient I must attend to.'

'Let me show you to the door then.'

'There is no need for that. I'm quite capable of opening the door for myself. By the way, Dorrien has requested you meet him tomorrow at noon as he apparently has a letter to give you.'

'From whom is this letter from?' said Sonea.

'I have no idea except that Dorrien has said it is from a friend of yours.' replied Lady Vinara.

'I wonder who it could be from?' thought Sonea to herself. 'Must be Cery with a favour to ask.'

_Sonea tidied herself then made her way to Takan's quarters as she had chosen him to help her search through the books on black magic. As she reached his quarters she saw him already ready to follow her._

'How did you know I wanted you to follow me?' asked Sonea.

'Word travels fast in the Guild. Especially if it is about black magic.' said Takan.

'Fine. I will go to Rothen to collect the keys so could you please meet me at the room where they keep the black magic books in 15 minutes.'

'As you say so My Lady.'

_As Sonea walked through the corridors to Rothen's room, she wondered what new knowledge she would find in the books, what new secrets will she discover and will she find a way to bring Akkarin back. Even though she knew that the last though was almost impossible, a little hope lingered in her hoping that since she could hear Akkarin, there may be a way to bring him back._

♥

_Sonea stopped outside Rothen's room and knocked gently on the door._

'Who is it?' asked Rothen.

'It's me, Sonea. I'm here for the key to the black magic books.'

Rothen got up to open door for Sonea.

'Of course, of course. But you must remember that only you and Takan are allowed in the room. If anyone is found inside there, there will be consequences.' said Rothen as he took a small black key out of his pocket and handing it over to Sonea.

'I understand. I'll return the key to you as soon as I'm done.'

'Take your time. You're the first person to go into that room after we locked it up. And have you seen Dorrien lately?' enquired Rothen.

'No. But I'm seeing him tomorrow at noon as he has something to give me.'

'Very well then. Please tell him I said hello.'

'I will. And don't you have class to teach now?'

'I completely forgot. Thank you for reminding me or my Alchemy students will be wondering where I Am.' said Rothen as he started gathering his teaching materials.

'I'll just let myself out then.'

'Sure, sure. And I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for in the books.'

Sonea quietly closed the door as she let herself out.

'I wonder where Akkarin is. He hasn't tried to contact me the whole day.' thought Sonea to herself as she made her way to the room containing the black magic books.

Just as that thought went through her head, she felt a gush of wind.

'Well speak of the devil. I guess I'll make a detour to my room as I can't be walking around talking to him. I hope Takan won't mind waiting so long.'

As soon as Sonea closed the door to her room she heard Akkarin's voice.

'Sonea, you've got to be careful when you handle the books. As there is something amiss.'

'How do you know?' asked Sonea.

'I can feel it. It may not be the books but they're the only things I can think of that can go wrong.' replied Akkarin.

'Ok. I've a question to ask you.'

'Ask away then.'

'When you're not talking to me, what do you do?'

'That's a difficult question. I guess I spend my time watching you. As I can only hear and see what you can.'

'Oh. I guess that answer will suffice.'

♥

_Sonea walked slowly through the corridor. Arriving at the room to find Takan standing there waiting for her instructions. She slowly took the little black key out and opened the door. Not knowing what to expect from the books. When she stepped in, there was a smell. The smell of magic. Takan lit a few lamps about the room and proceeded to make the desk and chair as comfortable as possible. Sonea stepped over to the nearest pile of books and slowly began sorting through them. A few of the books would be of absolutely no use to her but certain books held her interest._

'Takan, can you please bring this pile of books to the desk so that I may start going through them.' said Sonea after sorting through a pile of books.

'Yes My Lady. Would you like any help going through them.'

'No. That will not be necessary. I just need you here to keep me company, and to bring some refreshments later on. So why don't you find something to occupy you while you wait.'

'If you permit I would like to go and get the book concerning herbs I was reading yesterday.'

'Of course. Please be back in 15 minutes.'

_Sonea opened the first book titled 'Communicating with black magic' She slowly flipped through the pages, hoping for a hint of information about communicating with the dead. Alas, after going through the whole book, she did not find even a mention of what she was looking for. _

'Maybe the next book will be more helpful.' thought Sonea to herself as she reached for a book titled 'Basic properties of blood gems'.

_When Takan returned with his book and some refreshments, Sonea was already on her third book but had yet to find anything regarding communication in the after life_

_Finally, after hours of searching Sonea finally came across a passage that had the information she wanted._

**_'If the bond of the two people is strong enough during the creation of the blood gem, even though one of the two might pass away, he/she will still be able to contact the living one if the living one still has need of him/her. This communication will cease when the living one is able to continue his/her life with a certain amount of normality.'_**

'Well that is a relief. As I don't think I'll ever be able to continue life without Akkarin.' thought Sonea to herself.

'Come Takan, I've found the information I need. I think it's time for us to retire to bed as it's quite late.'

_Sonea slept peacefully that night knowing that Akkarin would always by her side and that they would be able to discuss their child the next time Akkarin contacted her as he would be there to watch the childe grow up even though the child would have to be kept in secret until she felt ready to tell him about Akkarin. As there will be no telling what the others in the Guild will think of her if word got out that she was communicating with Akkarin. _


	4. Leaving of a Friend

**Author's note:I know it's been ages since I've updated but school work kinda caught up with me. I've decided to add a sub plot that kinda came to me in my sleep. Hopw you all like it. I know this chapter's shorter than the last but I still have tons of homework left.**

Chapter 4: The Leaving of a Friend.

By Occulte

The rain came down quietly. You wouldn't even know it was raining unless you stood outside in the open. Nonetheless, Sonea knew that it was raining when she first awoke. The first thing she did when she woke up was to glance at her hand. Not to admire them or anything, but to check that the bloodgem was still with her. Ever since finding out that the bloodgem was her line of communication with Akkarin, she never let it out of her sight. Fearing that if she did, it would come to some kind of harm and Akkarin would be lost to her. Just as she had finished dressing herself, there came a knock on the door.

'Who is it?' asked Sonea.

'It is I, Takan.' came the reply.

'Well come in then.'

'Lord Rothen has requested you presence with him now.' said Takan.

'That's a little early even for Rothen. I wonder what he could want.'

'I'm not sure but I've heard that it is quite serious.'

'Very well then. We shan't keep him waiting.'

Sonea and Takan walked down the corridors in silence. Each wondering what Rothen wanted at such and early hour. Upon reaching Rothen's quarters, Sonea knocked softly on the wooden door, waiting for and answer before entering.

'Ah! Sonea, I didn't think you were up at such an early hour.' said Rothen when he saw then enter.

'I was going to go to Dorrien's to help out this morning so I woke up earlier.' replied Sonea.

'Perfect timing! Dorrien sent a message yesterday requesting your presence at the clinic this morning. You better hurry along then, before the rain gets heavier.'

'Very well Lord Rothen.' said Sonea as she turned her back to leave.

'And bring Takan with you just in case.' cried out Rothen as Sonea was shutting the door.

'I wonder what he meant by just in case.' thought Sonea as she and Takan made their way back to her room to gather a few things before they left for the clinic.

As Sonea made her way to the clinic, she felt that there was something waiting to happen. Whether it was to be a major or minor event, she couldn't say. Nonetheless, she prepared herself for whatever would come.

When she reached the clinic, she found it surprisingly empty. Usually by this time of the day, the place was packed with people. But today all she saw were the helpers who worked there.

'Where is Dorrien?' she wondered as he usually came out to greet them. When she asked the helpers, all they did was say that she was to go into the waiting room and all would be answered. So in she went. But what she got wasn't what she expected. She had expected Dorrien inside with some kind of news, but all she got was an envelope addressed to her. It was in Dorrien's handwriting so she quickly opened it. Hoping it would provide her with some answers.

_Dear Sonea,_

_If you're reading this it's because I've already left and am unable to say goodbye in person. Do not worry, I'm not being taken away by force but by choice. Last week, I received a letter from Savara, the Sachaka woman who helped me last time. She requested my presence at the palace but for what reason she wouldn't say. And as I owe her my life, I've made arrangements for you to take over while I journey there. I will be back as soon as possible._

_Dorrien_

Sonea was so shocked by the letter that needed Takan to help her back to the guild. Now she knew what Rothen meant by just in case. He must have known from the start what she would find there and that Dorrien had already left. Promising to come back and re-open the clinic as soon as possible, she assigned the helpers a few chores before leaving.

'How could he do this to me? The least he could have done was say goodbye to me properly and not in a letter. But no, he had to be secretive and leave in the middle of the night. Who knows what it's like out there and whether he'll be able to take care of himself.' thought Sonea to herself.

'Akkarin, if you're there, do you think you have the ability to look at other people's lives and not only mine?' asked Sonea hoping that Akkarin was listening.

'Unfortunately not. I can only see the things that are around you. No further.' came the reply.

_**Dorrien**_

'I hope Sonea wasn't too upset by me not saying goodbye properly. I hope she got the letter safely. I don't really want to leave the clinic but I owe Savara my life so I feel that I must honour her wish to see me. But I do wonder why she is so secretive about the purpose of my visit.' thought Dorrien to himself as he journeyed to Sachaka.

Dorrien reached the palace gates at night fall exhausted and sunburnt. None the less, he put on a performance when he was presented to the king. Even though it was Savara's request that brought him here. He was not able to meet her as the guards brought him straight to the king.

'Your majesty.' greeted Dorrine upon entering the court.

'Thank you for coming here on such notice but though I would want to discuss the purpose of your visit now, I can see that you are exhausted from your journey. So we shall talk about this tomorrow.' said the king.

'Very well. But if I may ask, where is Savara?'

'I'm afraid she is out on an important errand at the moment. She will be returning shortly but I'm afraid I will only permit you to talk to her tomorrow.' replied the king.

Dorrien was brought to his chambers and while he was tired. He couldn't help but spend the night thinking of Savara and the problem that Sachaka might have that needed his help.


End file.
